What It Takes To Be “Soft“ In A Masculine World And Not Be Destroyed.

Pat Novak
3 min readJun 13, 2015

Written By PAT NOVAK

“How do I get in touch with my feminine side?” “How can I be softer?”

These are some of the questions which come up when women start dealing with the dilemma of getting back in touch with their own “feminine” energy.

These same women have spent years in their “masculine” energy. Building careers, building families and basically building their lives. All around being competent, logical and results-oriented human beings. In other words, men.

“Hold on there missy. Are you trying to tell me women can’t be competent?”

No, women are very competent. Especially when they are in their masculine side. Get where I’m going here?

The Masculine is about getting results. The Feminine is about having connections.

Women have done such an amazing job in developing their masculine side. So much so, the pendulum swung way over to the right. And now, its needing to swing back to the left, in order to create balance.

Because the one area where women feel they are faltering is in connection. With people in general, with themselves and especially, their beloveds, or potential beloveds.

In order to create a connection, you need to be connected to yourself and your own feelings.

We have an epidemic of women who, like their male counterparts, are not in touch with their feelings and often view feelings as “weak.”

To be valued in the workplace, women threw away one of their most powerful assets. Their God-given, awesome connection to their feelings. As women, we naturally are more attuned to feelings. Men, naturally, are not.

Being in touch and understanding your feelings is a strength like no other. It is what makes you beautifully female and attracts men.

Men do not live in the world of feelings. Their world is basically linear with black and white undertones.

Feelings bring colors and wonderful textures. Now the world has depth, softness and aliveness. What a gift!

The key is being in touch with your feelings and not seeing them as unruly children.

Once you truly understand your feelings, you see them as guides and honor their voice. Knowing your feelings means knowing your boundaries. Which is how you are able to navigate safely in the world, without donning an impenetrable armor.

Being in your feelings doesn’t mean hysteria. It doesn’t mean drama.

That happens with women ( and men) who do not understand their feelings and are coming from a child’s wants and needs. It is because the last time they were in touch with their feelings, they actually were children.

Frozen in time, they still react from that place of infancy. Rather than the adult who has re-connected with feelings and took the time to honor and mature them.

Women who try to be “soft”, without really being in touch and responsible with their feelings, do not feel authentic. They can come across as weak, manipulative and superficial.

The old stereotype of what it meant to be seen as feminine. And since its closer to feminine than masculine, many men still are attracted to it.

But they tire of it eventually. Wondering what is is they are looking for. When the other option, seem to be women in their masculine, who are often competing with them and thus felt as emasculating.

Women wonder too. Why are they so tired and have trouble connecting with their men without anger and stress?

Women are not meant to live in Masculine energy. Men, on the other hand, thrive on it.

Which is why the pendulum is swinging the other way. We, as women, need to regain our natural foothold in our Feminine energy. Where we have the beautiful option of being in the “soft” strength of feelings. Which nurtures and empowers the world in a way which is desperately needed at this time.

The power of the potent Feminine.



Pat Novak

Look Deeper. Feel More. Pat Novak is an Intuitive Transformational Therapist. Your Sphere of Safety Therapy. pat@patnovak.com